I’ve been wanting to pick up rock climbing for a long time – years, actually – but never had the time or the money or both at once. I finally decided to force the issue and just go! After much research (what? me? research? never), I finally decided on a gym pretty close to my house – Dallas Rocks. Because I didn’t have a partner, I bouldered until I could boulder no more – which turns out to be about an hour. I decided it was time to stop when I was at the top and about to downclimb when I realized my arms were shaking so badly they were about to let go of the holds I was gripping, completely ignoring my brain’s screaming at them to hold on. I’m all for TMF* I’d just rather it occur with both feet safely planted on the ground. Not that falling would have been that big of a deal – 15 feet onto a thick cushioned pad – but I downclimbed as fast as I could, realized I’d been climbing an hour, and decided to go for a run.
All in all, it was a good day and I really hope to be able to get out there more often, it was a LOT of fun. But for those of you who have never rock climbed, here are a few lessons I learned from my almost-first time.
1. You will look like an idiot and make a fool of yourself. This was pretty easy for me to get over, since I’m used to looking like an idiot and making a fool of myself.
2. You will totally get schooled by a bunch of seven year old punks who will boulder around V5s** like they are trying simultaneously make you look like an idiot (see #1) and serve as proof that we really did evolve from monkeys.
3. PAIN.
4. It will take you eighteen times to get to the top of a V0** climb and those around you will watch in astonishment as you manage to fail this easy course yet again. It’s alright, you’ll get it eventually. And then keep doing it a million more times because it’s the only problem in the entire gym you can actually climb.
5. Climbing without a harness = AWESOME! Why have I never bouldered before?!
6. PAIN.
7. Climbing shoes don’t hurt nearly as much as everyone acted like they would.
8. Bring your own water. You’ll waste a lot of time walking back and forth to the fountain to replenish the liquid lost in the gallons of sweat jetting from every pore in your body.
9. Did I mention PAIN?
I’m so excited to go back and hope to visit 3 times a week. Maybe by this time next year it won’t take me 18 times to get up to the top of that dad gummed V0**.
(Anyone need a total n00b climbing partner?! 
)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Total Muscle Failure
**V0=noob, V12=certain death