If you’re squeamish don’t read this. No, seriously. Stop.

1. Sharing a drink/food/anything with someone else.
2. Picking someone else’s nose. And not subtlety, either. I mean really digging.
3. Wiping someone else’s face with your spit.
4. Staring at, clapping for, and singing songs about, poop.
5. Wiping other people’s bottoms.
6. Wearing a shirt that your son’s wet diaper just leaked on because you are out running errands and don’t have an extra.
7. Catching someone else’s vomit in your bare hands.
8. Kissing sweaty, dirty, messy, muddy faces.
9. Sleeping on a mattress that has had all manner of grossness done to it because it’s foam and can’t be cleaned and you didn’t think about that when you bought it but oh well, that’s what sheets and mattress pads are for.
10. Saying, “Don’t eat that your hands are dir….never mind. Whatever.”

“Geen eggs a ham wery yummy!
Could you could you in a house?
Could you could you in a mouse?
Could you could you in a fox?
Could you could you on a cup?
Oh my gosh! He’s hungry!
Could you could you on a train?
Could you could you on a mommy?
Could you could you on a dogly?”

Dogly?

“DOGLY!”

Dogly.

“On a dogly!”

Gotcha. Continue.

“Could you could you on a goat?
Yaaaaaay!!!”

The End.

Dr. Seuss would be proud.